dirty parenthood

I forgot about the conversation I had last night about dirt and germs on kids. It was mentioned that the kids who are so often shielded from unclean things don't build up proper antibodies and therefore wind up having more allergic reactions to things when they get older. It was specifically mentioned that kids who grow up with pets may be surrounded by filth when they're younger, but aren't as affected by it later -- in essence are far healthier by being exposed to vermin.

You can see that right? The kid who gets down and dirty is tougher in the long run than the kid who looks like Edgar Winter in the blue boy costume.

Can this be applied not only to physical dirt, but moral dirt as well? I hesitate to say this because it may seem really really absurd, but I think there's something there. Eventually everyone's exposed to things that were verboten as children. If the shielding was absolutely complete, the eventual exposure has a far greater effect. You often hear about kids raised in a very strict and moral household who go off the deep end when they enter the world. I don't have stats or anything, and it's not like it's only "good" kids who falter, but I can totally see that making sense.

I think the idea is to not forcefully expose a kid to harmful media, but to acknowledge it, but play up or down its significance in a respectful manner. So many parents only show their kids the safest stuff imaginable. Remember what we used to watch when we were kids? I would say it's far less tame than kids tend to watch today and we totally turned out pretty cool. I think of all my favorite movies now. Some are slightly objectionable, but I would hate to forgo the joy of watching them with my kids. No doubt I'll change my mind once I see just how suggestible the kids turn out to be.

Our kids will be cool. They'll be watching John Hughes movies all growing up. When they go to college they'll expose other kids to the great stuff we enjoyed in college rather than being negatively overwhelmed by new influences.

If I ever have kids I hope I'll be able to talk to them. I have this idealized relationship brewing with them. We'll be fun and jokey and philosophical with each other. I'll be sad when it doesn't work out that way. One of the saddest lines in cinema is (lemme look this up real quick) in Parenthood when Steve Martin says: ... (okay far out, I went to look it up, but couldn't find the quote -- I guess I'll paraphrase) ... when your kids are born, you want the best for them. You do what you can to give them you think they'll need to be happy. You have all the hope in the world for them. But when all your efforts are finished, they turn out just like you.

I think this is sad. I suppose someone else -- someone self-actualized and confident -- would find this quote the opposite of sad.