Four things tonight. Probably.
1. One of my teeth started bleeding at the gum line for no reason today. Sure, I don't mind the taste of blood. It's like metally salt. I just don't know why. Is there an absence in my mouth. I hate it, but I'd at least love the taste of diet coke in my mouth instead of blood.
2. I just got back from Crazy, Stupid, Love. The punctuation for that movie's title is atrocious. It's bad enough that I have to bother to Italicize it. Of course the worst part of it is going to a movie like that by myself. If I was fitting into my expected role in society I should have seen the new planet of the apes movie instead of a love story. Truth though, I felt like seeing an ensemble love story, so I did. It just happened to be late Thursday night and it was spur of the moment, so I went alone.
Why am I still justifying myself to you?
Anyway the point I wanted to make is I loved when Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone got together. The scene pointed out something that very few people know about the nature of guys. I promise, most guys don't even know this. A real conversation with a woman -- I mean a real conversation, not a forced one -- that's going all the way for a guy. That actually means something. It's the girl equivalent of having sex (or whatever her moral intimacy limit is at the time). A girl gives it up in bed. A guy gives it up in conversation. A girl will express her feelings to anybody who will hear her, but will only be intimate with a certain few. A guy will mack on anybody who will let them (and many don't just stop there), but will only express themselves to a very select few.
That's revelation #1. Revelation #2 is that just about everybody (guys and girls included) has no idea that it's after the real conversation -- the real connection -- that a guy can be really hurt. Often guys will connect with girls and not even realize it. They'll go to bed smiling and then wake up in the middle of the night and realize they're in love. The girl was just talking like she always does because expressing herself isn't something she saves for someone special. It's rude for a guy to ignore a girl after he's gotten what he's after physically. I would say it's rude for a girl to ignore a guy after they've (in his mind) made a connection... but how would she even know?
Let's feel a little sorry for guys. But just a little sorry. We all know guys still have it way better than girls.
3. I'm sick of making friends. They only go away. I'm even more sick of confirming friends, because often they aren't my friends anyway.
I probably need more enemies. What if there was a social networking site not of friends, but of enemies? Wouldn't that be great? Think of how much more you'd learn from somebody's profile. "These are all the people I hate, and here's why..." I very often think I need more enemies. I have none. I suppose that's an accomplishment, but I'm not so sure. If nobody opposes me, maybe I don't stand for anything at all. Maybe I'm not a life-changer, but just a yes-man to the rest of the world.
We don't believe in soul mates. We're not supposed to anyway, but I like to think of it in the following way. There may not be one person we have to end up with, but there are probably like 1000 that we're compatible enough with that it would work out fine. Now, of those 1000, ONE of those is actually BETTER than the other 999. Sure, no soul mates, but there is whatever you'd call that one.
With this in mind, let's flip it around. There is also one person living right now who is the exact opposite of you. There's the ONE and then there's the one. This person is pure evil. Maybe not to everyone else, but most assuredly to you. This person's favorite music is your least favorite. This person makes fun of what you do for a living. This person has the opposite views you have about abortion and capital punishment. This person feels that your ideals and virtues are actually detrimental to society.
Don't you want to meet this person? Don't you want to have it out with them? Maybe you can somehow meet them on the social networking site I invented three paragraphs above this one.
Of course usually we don't make enemies for ideological reasons, I suppose. The enemies we're used to are just like us -- except they might have one more thing than we do.
4. I've always wanted to change the world, but I absolutely cannot. I have a message, but I'm just not the right personality to get it out. I'm not strong or brash enough to get people to listen to me. It's only those Type A personalities -- natural leaders -- who can really affect change. These are the guys who speak their minds constantly. People respect their results and they respect their opinions because these people have learned what it takes to constantly be on top of everyone else.
You might think I'm being defeatist. What's to stop me from becoming that loud presence that nobody can ignore? Other people have fought their way to the top, why can't I? It may be a hard road, but with determination and swagger, I'll get there. I'll have the personality that people will respect and latch onto. Then my message will be heard.
The only problem is here's my message:
Maybe we should stop listening to all these asshole Type A personalities. Maybe the swagger that comes with the cult of personality has actually done the world a disservice. Maybe we're respecting the wrong attitudes.
Now how easy is it to meekly get that message out? There are people trying to get that message out, sure. We just don't hear the message. I think they're hoping we'll learn by example. The example of the quiet is seldom heard, however. Even the most well-meaning organization is eventually represented by a big fat loudmouth.
I know how the hippies felt after Altamont.
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