sexual harassment video script

SEXUAL HARASSMENT VIDEO

INT. Side shot of a man sitting at a desk. Goofy cheap vintage training video Atari 2600 music plays. Title card reads: “The Official Graffito Enterprises Training Video: Sexual Harassment and YOU!” Cut to front view of the man at the desk. He is wearing a hideous toupee.

MAN AT DESK

Good day. My name is George

Swoobner. I work for the Human

Resources department here

at Graffito Enterprises.

I’m here to guide you

through the hopefully unexciting

world of SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Possible change of camera to side view. The man at the desk turns to face the camera

SWOOBNER

You know, many people will tell

you that abiding a company’s

sexual harassment policies is

as easy as using common

sense and considering other

people’s feelings.

This is incorrect.

Camera view change to the side.

Let’s observe our first

example shall we?

CUT TO: A woman (Miranda) walking up to a cubicle. She stops and addresses the party inside the cubicle.

MIRANDA

Excuse me James, I’m

going to need that Simmons

report immediately. Can you

manage that?

CUT TO: The man in the cubicle. He is wearing a robe that’s slightly open and wearing a speedo or something. He’s also somehow lying down and holding a wine glass. Somehow his cubicle has a softer lighting scheme than the previous cut where we saw Miranda. His cubicle also has lit candles prominently displayed.

JAMES

Sure baby. How

about right after some

happy fun time?

CUT TO: Slow zoom on Miranda. She looks down and slightly ashamed. STILL FRAME

SWOOBNER (Voice Over)

Obviously this kind of

harassment will not be

tolerated. And... just as

an unofficial word of advice,

if you are going to harass

somebody, it helps if you’re

NOT the subordinate.

CUT TO: FRONT OF SWOOBNER

SWOOBNER

In this example, James

made Miranda feel very

uncomfortable -- especially

later when she fired him.

CUT TO: side shot.

SWOOBNER

Let’s look at another example

of an uncomfortable situation

that should be avoided.

CUT TO: scene with a man (ROY) interviewing a young woman (BETTY) for a promotion.

ROY

Well, Betty, your quarterly

reports are on task. I do

have several other employees

to interview, however and...

BETTY

Roy -- I need you to know

something.

CUT TO: She puts her hand on his arm.
CUT BACK TO:

BETTY

I’m a go-getter. I’m wiling to

do anything...

CUT TO: She puts her hand on his thigh.
CUT BACK TO: CU ON BETTY

BETTY

(ctn’d)

… ANYTHING to get

this promotion.

CUT TO: WIDE
Roy stands up.

ROY

Betty. I’m stopping this

interview right now. I

will not allow things to

escalate in the direction

they’re going.

CUT TO: Slow zoom on Betty. She looks down and slightly ashamed.

CUT TO: FRONT VIEW OF SWOOBNER

SWOOBNER

Here at Graffito Enterprises

we’re committed to respecting

whatever type of sexual

orientation our employees

identify themselves with.

Keep in mind that many types

of sexual orientation aren’t as

obvious as gay/straight/bi/bestial.

In the previous example,

Roy was not very respective

of Betty’s obvious orientation

of fooling around with her

work superiors for a promotion.

Roy was fired shortly after

the filming of this video.

CUT TO: SIDE OF SWOOBNER

Remember to be mindful

of potential sexual harassment

situations beyond sexual

orientation. Sometimes someone’s

normal daily routine may spark a

potential incident.

CUT TO: An office party. A man (DAVE) is eating chips behind the party table. He is (assumed to be) completely naked (we see him from the waist up). A couple of guys come up to him. The first comes up behind him and starts rubbing his shoulders.

GUY 1

Daaaaave! How ya been man?

DAVE

Alright.

GUY 1

Boy, you’re pretty tight, buddy.

Workin’ too hard maybe? You

Ought to relax, ya think?

Guy 2 comes up to Dave and spar-punches with him a little -- ending his combination with a fake kick in the crotch.

GUY 2

Yeah, Dave. Loosen up. We’re

headin’ to the club after work,

you should come along. I’m driving.

Got a new beaded seat cover.

Think about it!

The two men walk away. A woman (JOYCE) approaches the dip timidly.

DAVE

Hi.

JOYCE

Hello. Uh... so you...

uh... are you married?

She cringes her face a little as she says this.

CUT TO: Slow zoom on Dave. He looks down and slightly ashamed. STILL FRAME

SWOOBNER (VO)

Sometimes people have

unusual routines. Remember,

just because someone is the

office nudist, it doesn’t mean

they want you to open the door

to filthy harassment talk.

You may as well open the

door to a room with a lawsuit

in it.

CUT TO: FRONT OF SWOOBNER

So far, we’ve talked a lot

about direct one-on-one

conflict.

CUT TO: SIDE OF SWOOBNER

SWOOBNER

But what about third-party

harassment? Even if the

party isn’t directly addressed

in the conversation, they

still have a case for harassment

if they see or hear something

of a harassing nature.

CUT TO: Interior of the women’s bathroom. The camera pans from left to right down low in front of the stalls. We see two different sets of women’s feet. They are in conversation.

WOMAN 1

Hey, I hate to bother you,

but do you happen to have

a tampax with you?

WOMAN 2

Oh! Um... I might I...

WOMAN 1

I’m so sorry! I left my purse

at my desk and I REALLY need

one.

WOMAN 2

Oh, that’s alright! Here! I’ll just pass

one underneath the stall.

WOMAN 1

Thank you! Lemme, just reach it...

The women grunt a little as they try to maneuver the tampon to the right place. By this time, the camera has panned all the way to the end of the stall bank where there is a man with his ear pressed up against the stalls. He has the most appalled look on his face ever. The camera zooms slightly in on his aghast face.

CUT TO: SIDE VIEW OF SWOOBNER

SWOOBNER

But what about Robots?!?

CUT TO: a silver robot (a guy wrapped in silver boxes and foil with a motorcycle helmet and a chest display -- which is an iPad) is collating some forms. A woman comes in.

WOMAN

Hey, R4-189! Nice can!

The woman slaps the robot on its robot butt. It makes a hollow sound like she punched a garbage can. The robot’s front display blinks with a beeping sound effect “SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!” The robot looks down. The woman laughs maniacally. STILL FRAME

SWOOBNER (VO)

As I mentioned earlier,

I represent Human Resources

for this company. Presently,

Graffito Enterprises does not

actually have a Robot Resources.

Therefore, sexual harassment

against robots is permitted.

The title “FAIR GAME” is stamped on the screen over the still shot of the shamed robot with the woman laughing at it.

CUT TO: FRONT OF SWOOBNER

SWOOBNER

This concludes your instruction

regarding the sexual harassment

policies of this company.

Please, remember to take these

policies into your head, but not

your heart. Thank you.

The cheesy Atari 2600 music plays.

CUT TO: Side view of Swoobner, but a wider shot.
TITLE: “Copyright 2011 Graffito Enterprises”

Swoobner gets up to leave. We see that he is obviously wearing no pants. He walks out of the shot.

FADE OUT.